What the @#$% DO I Know?

At the urging of my therapist, I watched "What the Bleep Do We Know?" As with the last time I tried to watch it, the first part was incomprehensible, but I did get the second part of the film. I feel like it's information that I've heard before, but just presented differently. I was particularly intrigued by the discussion about the cellular damage caused by our thoughts and how our minds determine what our bodies look like.

So what thing, person, emotional pattern, item, thought process am I addicted to that has locked me into the life that I have? Into the body that I have? Into the financial condition that I have? Into the fears that I hold on to? How do I break these addictions once I've identified them? How do I identify them?

All I want is a bigger, more evolved, happier, more meaningful life. Is that so much to ask? I don't mind doing the work to get there. I just need to understand what the work is and how to do it.

What role does God play in all this? I am, admittedly a bit confused about God. I don't believe that he's this big ole angry white man in the sky waiting to punish me if I have a drink or a lustful thought. But I don't know exactly what He is or how to access him. One of the experts interviewed in the film said that we're all in the process of becoming Gods. Another said that we all have the ability to become the avatars we worship, like Jesus and Buddha. I've heard this before and the intellectual part of me believes this. It makes sense. How is it that no one has come along since either of them who can motivate, inspire, and educate in the same way that they do? Where are the contemporary Jesus and Buddha?

There's another part of me, though, that thinks this is blasphemous. I, the equivalent of Jesus and having the possibility to become like the Buddha? Don't seem right.

I want to answer these questions and become the next higher evolution of myself.