I'm finding living in Detroit to be hard. The blight, poverty, instable industry, weather and foolishness are all taking a toll. If GM and Chrysler fail I fear the national press will be overwhelming to those of us here. Between being angry and engaging in activities I have no business, I can't seem to get motivated to do anything. I was doing well with keeping up with my deadlines at work, but I let one slip today.
I want to want. I want to get it together and engage and connect and feel excited about something. While living here is definitely a challenge right now, I see opportunities, too. I don't, however, feel capable of channeling my anger in a productive way.
All I see is fear and greed and delusion. It's amazing the amount of each I've seen in people - friends and others. Is this how we make it through our lives? By lying to ourselves about accomplishments, contributions, intellect, deservedness, misdeeds, food intake? It's just sickening!
What do I lie to myself about? I suppose that I don't lie to myself.
