Random

Today was a high pain day. I don't know if it's the weather or my cycle, but the smallest bit of standing really bothered me. I had to leave at 3:30 for Vicodin and bed rest. I feel better now. Vicodin really is a great pain reliever. It's too bad that people abuse it.

I'm at a crossroads with regards to what to do about my back. I don't feel that I have enough information to make a decision about decompression treatments. I need to feel reasonably certain that it's not a rip off before I can commit. The pain treatments are painful and don't help. I should go back and see Dr. C., but I haven't been able to lose any weight and I feel like I haven't done everything she told me to do and that I'm not worth another option (yes, I said it!). I'm thinking that I'll just get through the holidays and make a decision come January.

I finished PT for my knee on Wednesday (yippee). Now, my ankle hurts. I think it's just some muscle strain. I'm going to deal with it. I don't want anymore PT for a while.

I spoke with someone today about scheduling my bariatric pysch eval. I hope she'll call me tomorrow to set a date. I feel a little nervous, but I've decided to just be as honest as I can. I believe that I'm ready. VW cosigned my thought process, reasoning and expectations. I'm in a good place and feel very good about my decision. I can't wait to finish WTG and get on with it.

Speaking of WTG, I really don't want to go back. I don't think that LB and I hit it off and she is just stress inducing for me. I'm waiting for her head to come to a point. I just can't stand how rehearsed she is. Admittedly, I am very embarrassed and disappointed that I haven't lost any weight. I do feel that I've benefited from the program in spite of that, however. I am more conscious and feel that I make better food choices. I also think that I've put a little distance between me and food. I really want to learn to eat again and reduce my intake.

So, should I tell WTG that I've decided on surgery? I really don't know. If I could lose some weight I would. If I can get myself together enough and lose some weight by my October 15 visit, I'll tell them that I'm going to have surgery. No matter what, I only have two more visits, which is good. I am, however, going to go in lighter than I am now.

I rejoined JC. I do better with a weekly program. It gives me a beginning and an end to my week. I ate a big bag of potato chips this weekend, so I don't think that I did that well. I would, however, like to go to my weigh in. I don't need any food, though. I'll think about it and let myself know.

What else? What else? I suppose nothing. I felt compelled to write, though this is a fairly dull post.