Been a long time...

Hello all of you people who aren't reading my blog. I'm back. With a vengeance? Likely not, but feeling motivated nonetheless. So, my weight loss has stalled at about 30 pounds. I'm able to eat quite a lot and at times I do. I go for a fill on Wednesday, which I hope will jump start the loss process once again. Honestly, I'm losing hope in my ability to be successful.

I'm awake after taking 30 mg of Restoril (is that what it's called?) and feeling a bit blue about it. I would very much like to sleep. Perhaps I should go back to the Ambien and just deal with the side effects.

I watched a documentary on Minnie Riperton last night that was very well done. She seemed like someone I would have liked to know. She seemed to be genuinely loving and happy. I'm not very familiar with her music beyond the most popular songs. I think even 30 years after her death, her husband is still madly in love with her.

So, I need some sugar in my bowl. I want to want to build up the courage to find a companion and luvah! Alas, I feel that I'm too fat for love and that no one could find me attractive and until or unless I get some major lbs off, I will be alone.

I started face booking tonight and re-connected with a friend of mine from high school. She's married and has two beautiful children. How her life has changed since we saw each other 7 years ago! I also saw a profile for this bitch I went to high school with and I'm so tempted to send her a message telling her what a bitch she was, but I suppose that's not the proper use of the tool so I'll leave the bitch alone.

Hmmm--what else is on the mind of my mind? I suppose that's it. Restless and actually wishing that I had some pharmaceutical to take the edge off. A Valium would be delightful right about now. 

I'm going to lie my head down and see what happens.