Pain & Distraction

I've been thinking only of getting to this all day today. It's odd. I was having severe pain in my pelvic area that I believe is coming from my back. I could be wrong, but that's what I think. I feel distracted by the pain I experience and it's hard at times to remain focused. All I want to do is lay down until I can figure out a way to get rid of the pain. I suppose that's not possible.

In addition to pain, I think I'm also distracted by my decision to have surgery. I have yet to meet with the surgeon, who can still tell me no, or to talk with my primary care physician, who could tell me he won't cooperate, and I am failing at the physician-directed weight loss program and wonder if that will disqualify me. I want answers and a schedule. I have to wait until the 24th to meet with the surgeon and find out what's what. I meet with my doctor Wednesday.

I'm afraid to fantasize about life not weighing what I weigh, free of pain and depression. I do it, but I'm concerned that it can't or won't happen. I feel both tired and bored.

I suspect my blog is tiring and boring.